When I started this blog a couple of months ago, I dreamed of people possibly suggesting posts for me to write. Now, all you people want to read about are the Duggars and it’s exhausting.
This special is all about Cousin Amy Duggar and her quest for a country music career. We’ve all been there. Am I right, Jessica Simpson, Lucy Hale, and Kelly Clarkson????????
At the beginning, we learn a lot about Cousin Amy.
-She’s an only child.
-She wears pants.
-She shops at Target (I recognize her shirt).
-She wasn’t homeschooled.
-She doesn’t like to wear makeup on her forehead (a totally different color than her cheeks).
We get to know Cousin Amy on a deeper level and basically how the entire family uses her when they want something baked or a nifty craft. For Mackenzie’s birthday, she had to bake a Noah’s Ark-themed cake. I’m sorry, what?
A birthday party theme is Noah’s Ark??????? What does that even mean? I know these kids have never read another book besides the Bible, but what?????
We also hear from Jason, one of the Duggar kids, who I have never seen or heard from before. He seems nice.
who are you. do your parents know about you?
Cousin Amy couldn’t be more different than her cousins. First of all, she’s 24 and unmarried, so there’s really no hope left for her. Second, you know she’s totally kissed a boy and listens to secular music in her car and maybe, MAYBE, has even drank a margarita.
you’re not married.
In some clips, we see a dirty side to Cousin Amy. She rode a pig bareback, drank milk straight from an utter— getting white milk all over her face, and then all of a sudden, we see her get baptized. HOW IS SHE JUST NOW GETTING BAPTIZED????
During all of this nonsense, we never once see Cousin Amy’s parents (I’m assuming one of them is Jim Bob’s brother or sister??). But nope, apparently Cousin Amy is forced with Jim Bob and Michelle acting as her parents. God bless her.
She heads over to the Duggar mansion and calls all of the kids to the living room via intercom. She’s tells us she’s never used an intercom before and it’s obvious because she hung up the phone by physically placing the phone down, not pressing the button. Did you go to intercom school yesterday???
She tells everyone her plan to head to Nashville, the land of boys with guitars, and of course Jim Bob has his fatherly uncley concerns.
“Not to burst your bubble or anything, but here I go…”
He blabs on about how her chances are slim to none and she’ll end up working at a restaurant. SORRY SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE A MIDWIFE LIKE THE REST OF YOUR KIDS, JIM BOB.
Then he offers up his unsolicited advice on males.
“There’s a lot of duds out there.”
“We get it.” –every single female ever
Then one of the boys tells us what he though Cousin Amy came over to tell them.
“I was expecting she was getting engaged, some of the normal things we hear.” –a Duggar boy
Ok, so there’s that.
Hour one is over and I’m exhausted. All I can think about is how I’m going straight to Dairy Queen after this is over and reward myself with a Blizzard.
The complete second hour is finally Cousin Amy heading to Nashville. But first she wants to make sure we know she’s not a typical Duggar.
“I wear pants. I date. I listen to the radio.”
Ok, yay. So I’m glad you realize what we all realize and that’s that you are in fact different.
Cousin Amy has been a nanny for longer than anything I’ve ever done. She’s been saving up her money to go to Nashville for two weeks to see if she has a shot at this whole country music thing.
I realized she’s sheltered, but omg, does she really think two weeks is all it takes to become a star??? IT TAKES LONGER ON AMERICAN IDOL.
She gets a lot of advice and then tries singing on a street corner. She’s so nervous. BUCK UP. I’ve sung karaoke less nervous than you are right now and I have a voice of a whale. (I have video proof of my fearlessness, but ain’t nobody got time for that.)
I took a break from this ignorance when I saw at the bottom of the screen: Are you a Duggar expert?
UM, I’ve written 99 blogs on them, so I think yes.
One thing led to another and all of a sudden, I was on Sporcle trying to name all the children. It’s hard.
http://www.sporcle.com/games/g/duggarfamily
Back to the show.
Cousin Amy doesn’t have a great voice, but if Lucy Hale can try her hand at country music, then Cousin Amy deserves a shot, too.
The show ends with Cousin Amy finally having the courage to perform at an open mic night. That’s good, Cousin Amy. This whole country music career thing is going to be a breeze for you.
At least she already has an album cover.
That was exhausting. Y’all better like this.
thoughtsandadventurestoldbytwo 