DWTS is hard

Because I’m a saint (so I shouldn’t have to really prove it anymore), I’m taking Granmary to see two Dancing With The Stars professional dancers perform Saturday in Dallas.

Murder me.

I’m pretending to dread this completely, but I just spent more time than I’d be willing to admit watching DWTS videos on YouTube.

But I prefer Derek and Julianne Hough over Cheryl Burke and Maks.

juliannederek

But, listen. DWTS is the worst show on television. Here’s why. The dances are absolutely horrible. And then the judges give them straight 10s.

Example:

Secondly, dancers and Disney stars get to compete and they obviously have an unfair advantage over, let’s say, my girl Wendy Williams.

you're welcome.

you’re welcome.

Poor, Wendy. Can’t help it if she has two left feet.

But let’s not be shocked when Nicole Schwlyjshafsgndfl wins the entire thing. SHE’S A PUSSYCAT DOLL. Dancing is dancing. She knows what an 8-count is, so she’s already five steps ahead of this woman.

rip pcd

rip pcd

Also who decided the pairing of the “celebrity” and dancer? Because Derek Hough is always paired with the best and most beautiful woman. That’s because the show favors him.

I mean, I’m not mad about it.

If you’ve ever read this blog, then you know I love me some not-quite-there gay men.

And Derek Hough is all types of feminine.

i'm not mad.

i’m not mad.

But I get this feeling that everyone on the show secretly (or maybe not so secretly) hates Derek and Julianne. And I don’t blame them.

juliannederek

One because they’re awesome and have a lot of sexual chemistry for a brother and sister. REMEMBER THIS DANCE????

One Martin Luther King Day, Emily, Alyssa and I spent an entire day trying to replicate one move from that dance. Emily broke a Christmas tree.

Second, you can’t trust a woman who breaks up with Ryan Seacrest. Shame on you, Julianne.

Hi

Hi

Derek and Julianne are on tour right now and I would much rather go and see them. But they’re NOT COMING TO DALLAS. Freakin Mormons.

So, no. I’m stuck seeing desperate Cheryl and even-more-desperate Maks. (Cheryl basically begged ABC to the Bachelorette and they said no. LOL. And Maks dates anything that moves.)

What’s your favorite DWTS dance? You don’t have one? OK.

P.S. I couldn’t even find a picture/gif of Cheryl and Maks that I liked enough to include. So there’s that.

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