Catfish Max’s Best One-Liners

A stranger tweeted me this and I love attention from strangers. I love doing what the people love, hence why I’VE WRITTEN THREE TOO MANY DUGGAR POSTS.

I don’t know who this girl is, but you better believe I will link her this post and force her to share it with her friends because I want to be famous.

Max is the silver fox of Catfish. While Nev and his hairy chest are beautiful, Max delivers the BEST snarky, witty one-liners all while carrying around that stupid camera (even though the show never uses its footage). Regardless, Max is the clear underdog of the show.

He's cute.

He’s cute.

He even told Nev that his mom wanted to see and learn more from him. And Mrs. Joseph, because I respect you and your son, I thought I would highlight Max’s best one-liners.

1. “Ring the doorbell like a man.”

door

You tell ’em, Max! Stop being such a little pussy, Nev. And while we’re at it, let’s talk about whatever Nev is talking about.

2. “What are you blathering about?” -Max anytime Nev opens his mouth and talks about Internet “love”

blathering

Nev is ALWAYS blathering. And he’s a BULLY.

3. “I hate being bullied into safety.”

seatbelt

4. “Hair is a very important part of this episode, I’m just gonna say it right now.” (It still hasn’t been proven that Elijah’s hair wasn’t a wig.)

elijahprok

5. “It’s always a rapper. It’s never a ukulele player.” -Max on Catfishers

RAPPER

RAPPER

6. “Wait. That’s the clean version?” -Max on Antoniette’s Instagram

CLEAN VERSION

CLEAN VERSION

7. “A never-ending mystery” -Nev reading an email subject line

“Like the Kennedy assassination.” -Max

#ok #toosoon #RIPJFK #GoneButNotForgotten #conspiracies #MarilynMonroe

8. “You got the cat signal?” -Max when Nev received an email

catfishtattoos

9. “Love makes you dumb.” -Max about anybody on the show ever.

sideeye

HE THINKS YOUR DUMB, ANTONIETTE.

AND FINALLY….. THE BEST LINE OF THEM ALL…..

catfish

10. “Nothing says ‘I love you’ like showing up at the door with Nev Schulman.”

"WE'RE HERE."

“WE’RE HERE.”

And there you have it, folks. Max Joseph.

 

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