I Can’t Keep Up With The Kardashians

You love to hate them or you hate to love them or you love to love them, oh whatever, you get the point. They’re the Kardashians/Jenners/Disicks/Odoms/Wests and they’ve taken over my TV for the past 34 7 years.

Let’s take a moment to remember when Kim was simply Paris Hilton’s BFF and went on a movie date with Nick Lachey.

kimandnick

In honor of something (I don’t really know why), E! is showing every Kardashian episode ever. EVER.

E! has been airing all of the episodes and if you’re unemployed like I am, it’s been so much fun to watch and reminisce on all the good times and black boyfriends.

Here are each character’s best moments from the how-is-this-show-still-on series:

Kim Kardashian Thomas Humphries West:

She’s the breadwinner. Her best moment comes when her boyfriend, Kris H., pushed her into the ocean and she lost a diamond earring.

kimocean

earring

And then Kourtney says this:

peopledying

 

 

OK, a close second was when the family was driving Khloe to jail and Kim kept taking pictures of herself.

kimselfie

Kourtney Kardashian:

Her best moment is often overlooked, but it’s one of my favorite moments in the history of television. Back in the day, Kim got ahold of pictures of Kourtney and her boyfriend in bed. They were stolen, some website got ahold of them, and Kim had to break the news to Kourtney.

The conversation went like this:

“Guess what’s come back to haunt us.” –Kim, while sobbing

“My sex pictures?” –Kourtney with her monotone voice

HOW DID SHE KNOW? Without any hesitation, Kourtney knew exactly what Kim was going to say and it sums up Kourtney and her emotionless personality so perfectly.

*There is no video or gif of this on the Internet, so if you can find one, I’ll pay you what I get paid for this blog (Hint: nothing)*

Khloe Kardashian-Odom:

She has too many one-liners for me to pick just one. There’s any time she tells Kris to die, or when she lugs her blow-up giraffe around, or when she cusses more around Bruce to annoy him. Here’s a great one, though.

khloe

Scott Disick:

Really, any of these moments:

broad

scottmakeup

yogascott

Lamar Odom:

When he finally left the family. Never liked that guy.

Rob Kardashian:

REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS SKINNY? Oh, my god, Adrienne call him or something, this boy is in turmoil. And HE’S 27 YEARS OLD. The last thing we need is another member of the 27 Club.

robk

 

But his friendship with Scott is pretty adorable and great.

robandscott

Kanye West:

The fact that Kanye West, a man who despises cameras and the paparazzi, decided to marry a Kardashian has to be the funniest thing to happen in pop culture in the last year. I mean, really. Basically anytime he’s on camera it’s amazing because have you noticed the cameras never get too close? And they always have to give him subtitles because he probably refuses to be micked up?

kanyepap

 

kanye

Bruce Jenner:

When he finally said eff you all, and kept his beach house on the beach (I can’t remember where) and decided not to listen to another word Kris Jenner had to say.

bruce

Kris Humphries:

This kid was never the brightest, but his best moment came when he didn’t know his girlfriend, Kim, had been married before. There are no words except: What.

kimfirstmarriage

Kendall and Kylie Jenner:

There was no one moment, but when they hit puberty and became attractive, it was so beautiful. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

jennergirls

Mason Disick:

OMG. I can’t wait until he’s 18 and I’m old and my obsession with him is ok.

rawr

heygod

 

butter

This isn’t even all the members of the family, but this was really exhausting. And Scott says it best.

smallcountry

Do you have favorite Kardashian moments I forgot? Tell me about them. I love to hear from my readers.

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